


The kindest thing is to (never) leave you alone

by Buffintruder



Series: Canon era Greedling [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Canon Era, Gen, Greed lives, Misunderstandings, Possession, Post-Canon, and one time he didn't, four times greed wanted to leave ling alone, greed is bad at emotions but he's trying his best, greed pov coda, sort of 4 + 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:01:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26576434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buffintruder/pseuds/Buffintruder
Summary: Snippets of Greed’s pov across the events of canon and after, as he comes to terms with the impact of his presence in Ling’s life
Relationships: Greed (Ling) & Ling Yao
Series: Canon era Greedling [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1766518
Comments: 22
Kudos: 57





	The kindest thing is to (never) leave you alone

**Author's Note:**

> This is still pretty comprehensible if you haven’t read the first part of this series, but there are a few things that won’t make as much sense  
> Thank you to Magpie for being an extremely good beta and idea inspirer, and for helping me with all my questions  
> The title is from the song The Rockrose and the Thistle

Greed was born into chaos, a wild rushing place. The world around him was filled with the motion and voices of dozens of long-dead souls, a source of power that was all his. He knew this, just like he knew that he was  _ Greed _ , a being defined by his desire, a part of his Father yet also something entirely separate. He had not existed in this state mere seconds ago, not as an individual with thoughts and feelings of his own, but he was not entirely new either. It felt almost more like waking from a long sleep than being born.

Piercing through the moans of the souls was a different voice crying out. He focused on the tiny figure that appeared to be its source. This thing was clear, with sharp edges and defined features, entirely unlike everything else in this blurred red-and-black world. A memory he hadn't made told him that this was a human teenage boy, likely of Xingese heritage.

Startlingly, this boy was not a part of him.

That struck him as funny and wonderful all at once. Here was something unexpected, something entirely distinct from the rest of what he knew and had experienced. Greed laughed, pushing the intention beyond the boundaries of what was strictly himself, in hopes that the boy would hear it as well. The thought of there being another person who he could communicate with was amazing.

_ What’s a little kid doing in a place like this? _ he asked. They were inside his self after all, and he barely knew anything about the world, but he did know that there were not supposed to be other people here. The answer came to him. This boy was the previous owner of the body he was currently entering. All other living beings were supposed to exist alone, but he would not. How delightful it was to have the company!  _ No matter. Hand over your body. I’m going to use it. _

The boy gave off a strange emotion that Greed, despite all his unexplained knowledge, could not entirely describe. He got the impression of a strained smile and gritted teeth.  _ Fine with me. You can have my body. _

_ Huh? _ Greed asked, thrown off his tracks. After all, the first thing he had known about anything was the greediness that defined him. He knew that he wanted everything, selfishly and unquenchably, like a gaping hole in his newly created existence. There was nothing in the world that he didn’t want for himself. He also knew that this was a trait in humans as well, that they all hungered and took and clung onto the things they had, because parting with them would be like ripping themselves in half. So why was this one offering something as important as a body to him so freely?

_ I told you, _ said the boy.  _ I’m accepting you. _

Greed was pretty sure this wasn’t in the script. There was a set of instructions that was woven into his being during whatever state of non-existence he had previously been in. He was a homunculus, the embodiment of his Father’s avarice who was meant to serve him and help him achieve his goals. The first thing he needed to do was take this boy’s body, through whatever means necessary. He had been expecting resistance.  _ Wouldn’t you ordinarily reject me? _

_ I am the man who will become Emperor of Xing! _ the boy proclaimed, which sounded pretty impressive.  _ What good will I be if I don’t have a heart large enough to accept twenty or thirty others? _

Greed laughed again, charmed for reasons he couldn’t explain.  _ You’re decisive. I like that. Just don’t go regretting this! _

_ Regret this? _ the boy repeated quietly. Some sharp emotion flashed from him, like a shock of static. Greed wasn’t sure if the boy had meant for him to feel that or not, but he found himself fascinated either way.  _ If I went home empty-handed, there’s no way I could face my vassal who cut her own arm off for me! I want power, to protect with... Absolute power, to obtain things with! I knew the risks from the start! _

Something about these words rang true and deep in his own being. This made sense to Greed in a way that none of the knowledge that had automatically come with him had. He wanted absolute power too, and would do anything for it. He had always known this, but something about the way the boy had said it made everything clearer, words and emotions set to desires Greed hadn't been able to describe.

It was  _ wonderful _ to find someone who understood him so instantly. Greed’s knowledge told him that this was rare for newly made acquaintances. This strange soft joy he felt at being known was better than anything else he had felt so far. There was something between them now, a sort of wanting that was sharper than any of the other kinds he had felt in his short existence.

This was someone important, someone he wanted to keep. Searching through his banks of knowledge, there was only one word that Greed had to describe this intense and deep connection. This boy was  _ his _ .

_ I like your avarice, _ Greed said.  _ Now, let’s see just how ready you are! _

With that, he pushed the rest of his way into the body, grasping at the controls, making it his own just as the boy was.

The boy was swept up into the swirling mass of souls, and Greed could tell that taking over the body had severely weakened the boy. If there was ever a time when he could crush the kid out of existence, it would be now. To Greed’s relief, the boy was still mostly in one piece though, shaky as he was. He was silent now which seemed potentially concerning given how frail he appeared, but the promise of discovering what it meant to have his own body was far too exciting for Greed to offer him more attention at the moment. Greed would leave him to recover for now, and maybe later the boy would be in good enough shape for more conversation.

Sensations from the outside world came rushing in, a whole new set of feelings, different from what Greed had felt in that internal space. This was how a kneeling body felt like, what a cavernous room sounded like, what underground smelled like, all familiar despite its newness. He leaned forward into a more comfortable position, instinctively rubbing his neck. There were sounds around him, someone calling out, “Ling!” and the thrum of things he didn’t quite understand yet.

Greed opened his eyes for the first time to see some large enclosed space, pipes lining the walls with larger ones crossing the floor, all leading to a throne in the center. There were people too, including the one who he recognized as his Father.

It was  _ amazing _ . Here were other beings, like him and the boy. They each had thoughts and desires of their own. Maybe some of them were like him too. There was a whole world around him, vast and full of so much more than he could comprehend. The room he was in was the tiniest portion of the world, and yet it still seemed like so much to his inexperienced eyes.

There was the strange soft joy again, not quite how he felt with the boy, but close.  _ Avarice _ , he thought. That was the word for the thrilling delight and longing that filled him when he saw all that there was, the feeling that defined him.  _ Someday this will all be mine. _

* * *

Over the course of Greed's short existence, he had made decent progress in adjusting to living in the same body as another person. He had figured out how to balance talking and silence so that he and Ling didn’t get too bored but didn’t get sick of each other either. He was starting to learn what actions and topics sparked what reactions from Ling, what made him angry or sad or laugh or talk for ten minutes straight.

His knowledge was far from complete though, and there were still times when Ling was utterly incomprehensible, when his mood would shift seemingly out of nowhere, and he would act in ways that made zero sense.

They had just been talking, like they had done every day for as long as Greed bothered to care. Time had too little meaning in the dark, empty sewers for him to keep track of it. The conversation was not particularly exciting, mostly just them asking each other questions to fight off the boredom. As much as Greed liked conversations with Ling, he would have much preferred to be out in the world doing something else.

He had been paying some attention to what Ling was saying since there really wasn’t much else to distract him. By now, even his own thoughts were old and worn. But talking to Ling was too familiar for him to watch what he was saying with any great care.

Perhaps he should have though because suddenly, halfway through a perfectly normal conversation, Ling had gone still.

“The question is basically ‘what’s your most important possession’, right? And since I really don’t have anything else, that’s you.” That was all that Greed had said, except Ling had fallen silent with an abruptness that seemed to leave a hole where conversation once had been.

A heavy, sticky feeling radiated off of Ling, though Greed could tell he was doing his best to muffle it. Ling had barricaded himself in the back of their mind, cutting off as much contact from Greed as possible. No explanation had been offered, and Greed wanted to shout at Ling, to demand what was wrong with him. But he didn’t. Whatever emotion oozed from Ling’s side of the mind made him want to sink into the ground or crumple up into a ball, and he didn’t think yelling would fix anything.

Humans didn’t just do things for no reason, Greed told himself. Even if it sometimes seemed like it.

He replayed the scene in his head to the best of his ability, even though his thoughts seemed to want to shy away from the memory. Nothing about it seemed particularly noteworthy to him, except that Greed remembered the last time he had called Ling his possession, back during the first evening of his existence. Ling had pulled away then too, an emotion so awful seeping from him that Greed knew he would not forget something like that for a long time. Greed would have been willing to do anything to make sure neither of them ever felt that way again, but it had, for no understandable reason.

_ Hey, kid? _ Greed tried after a minute of silence.  _ You still there? What’s wrong? _

There was no answer. Greed waited several heartbeats, hoping that some sort of explanation would be given. Ling’s shift in mood had come so quickly.

_ Ling? _

The only response to that was a wave of churning anger, or possibly sadness, and Greed thought that maybe it would be best to just leave Ling alone. He didn’t know what he would say even if Ling did talk to him, and trying only seemed to make it worse.

It felt like an eternity passed as Greed stewed in the uncomfortable emotions coming from both himself and Ling. He couldn’t find the energy to move or to try and figure out how to talk to Ling or do anything but sit there feeling awful.

Eventually, Greed managed to stand up. There was a heavy feeling in his chest that seemed to weigh him down physically. He had never wanted to do his patrols less. Even feeding the chimeras, which Greed normally enjoyed the most of all his duties, felt lackluster.

Sadly, he pet a lizard-dog creature on its scaly head. It nuzzled his hand, which made him feel a bit more at ease. At least there were no emotional landmines with this chimera. He couldn’t accidentally say or do the wrong thing and mess everything up. Not that chimeras couldn’t be unpredictable or that they couldn’t lose their trust in him, but they certainly weren't temperamental teenagers.

After that chore was done, he wandered the sewers aimlessly, too restless to sit still. It was like all the dissatisfied and murky feelings had turned from lethargy to energy, only it left him feeling worse than before. He tried to ignore the gaping emptiness in his chest.

_ Ling? _ Greed tried after starting the second lap around Father’s underground hideout. The sick feeling in his stomach had started to overwhelm any fear he might have of making things even worse. On Ling’s end, the emotions had flattened out more, so it seemed like a better time to try again. There was no response.  _ What do you think would happen if all the trees in the world were replaced by mushrooms? _

There was a long moment of silence.  _ People would start eating a lot more mushrooms. _ Ling sounded tired, his words clipped and lifeless, but at least he was talking. Greed felt a spark of hope. He hadn’t lost Ling entirely.

_ You good back there? _ Greed asked.  _...Did I... do something wrong? _

Ling sighed.  _ Why do you care? _

Greed was silent. ‘You are mine, and what kind of representation of avarice would I be if I didn’t keep my things in good condition?’ was unlikely to be helpful. He wasn’t entirely sure what had caused Ling to get upset in the first place, so it seemed safest to just avoid the topic of possession in relation to Ling.

_ I don’t want your bad feelings getting into my head too, _ Greed said.  _ So come on, what was that? How do I make it not happen again? _

_You can’t,_ Ling said. _You always tell the truth, right?_ _Then no. It’s not something wrong you_ ** _did_** _. Just... drop it. I don’t want to talk about it._

Irritation shot through Greed. If Ling wasn’t going to tell him what was happening, then Greed couldn’t be blamed for whatever weird moods Ling got into sometimes. He just didn’t want this awful feeling sucking away at his energy and happiness again. But he had tried to talk, and Ling clearly was not going to tell him anything, so there wasn’t much he could do about it but bother him less until his bad mood went away.

He would just have to never call Ling his possession out loud again and hope for the best.

* * *

It was Greed’s turn to take the watch that night, though he didn’t know if it technically counted as him doing it if he was just relaxing in the back of their mind while Ling took charge.

Ling wasn’t doing anything in particular with his forty five minutes, a sharp contrast from the first few weeks after they made their deal. Back then, he seemed to want to spend every moment doing something, whether it was touching random objects or talking to the other members of their group or eating food.

Now, he sat quietly against a tree, unfocused eyes staring vaguely in the direction of the canopy of leaves above them. His soul had the calm intensity of deep focus, and Greed couldn't tell if Ling was meditating, listening to the pulse of the earth, or simply deep in thought.

Greed sent a vague questioning emotion in Ling’s direction, and when Ling sent a similar emotion back, he took that as permission to interrupt his silence.

_ Why did you take your forty five minutes now? _ Greed asked. Most of the time one of them chose some random time for it earlier in the day, usually during a meal. Occasionally Greed picked out times when he had to do some chore. Today, however, Ling had requested to wait until nightfall.

_ I like the peace, _ Ling said.  _ I like being able to do things, but sometimes it’s nice to have the power not to do things too. _ Lazy contentment shone from Ling’s side of their brain, more relaxed than anything Greed had felt from Ling during their first couple of months together.

_ Right, _ Greed said, some strange, twisting feeling rising up. He was the person who had stolen away Ling’s ability to do anything but float in their mindspace for a long time. Since Ling had willingly offered his body, Greed hadn’t thought too much about it at first, but ever since they made their body-sharing deal, Greed had been very aware of how happy Ling seemed to be during every moment of control, how much calmer and more cheerful he was even when he wasn’t.

There were still times where Ling acted in ways that Greed didn’t understand, moments that made him feel wrong-footed and frustrated at himself and Ling, but those had grown much fewer. Even when Ling did get angry, it usually didn’t feel like it was something that Greed caused anymore, now that they had actually talked and Greed understood him better. He had a clearer idea of what pitfalls to avoid, and Ling tended to tell him if he was hurt by something rather than just getting all moody.

_ See _ , Greed had been tempted to say on more than one occasion. Talking was far more helpful than just getting all sulky and refusing to answer any of his questions.

Not that knowing what was up with Ling made  _ everything _ better. Greed could no longer ignore the fact that he was at the root of a lot of Ling’s troubles. Even though Ling was far happier in general at their current situation than before and he didn’t really complain, Greed knew that the situation still was not what Ling wanted. He had argued for having more than just forty five minutes a day, after all.

Sometimes Greed wondered if he should bring the subject up again, this time offering Ling more time. Maybe even half the day.

He still felt some terror at giving up control, a helplessness that he despised, but as time went on, it was getting less and less noticeable. He actually  _ trusted _ Ling, enough to hand him his life, which was a terrifying realization. But worse was knowing that the awful fear and powerlessness was what Ling had felt right from the very start. Ling hadn’t had a choice in the matter, unlike Greed.

Even with all that, Greed couldn’t just hand over all his power like that though. He was  _ Greed, _ created for the purpose of wanting things for himself. He couldn’t just give things away like that. A bit could be justified for the sake of keeping something else around—Ling, though he didn’t like being referred to as Greed’s possession. Much more could not. Not without going against everything that defined him.

_ Are you happy like this? _ Greed asked.

_ Like what? _

_ With me being here and all that. _

Ling was quiet for a moment, and Greed could hear his thoughts churning.  _ I... don’t...  _ **_love_ ** _ it. But I guess it’s alright, why? _

Greed wasn’t entirely sure why he was asking either, just that he had to know and would feel unsettled until he did.  _ For the sake of our deal. The first one, I mean, in the very beginning. _

Ling snorted.  _ Look, if you actually do let me take you to Xing after all this is over without a fuss, I’d happily let you have the body one hundred percent of the time until then. _

Somehow that wasn’t at all what Greed wanted to hear. He didn’t want Ling to simply deal with his intrusion in order to reach a goal, he wanted more than that, though what that was exactly, he had no idea.

_ It’s better than before, _ Ling said after a moment.  _ I mean even besides me getting some control and everything, I’m just glad you’re not working for the homunculi anymore and that we aren’t stuck in those sewers. _

Greed laughed, internally relaxing.  _ Yeah, that sucked. You’re easier to talk to now too. _

_ That’s probably because I don’t see you as my enemy anymore, _ Ling said, also sounding amused.

The laughter in Greed’s throat died.  _ You thought I was your enemy? _

_ Well, yeah, _ Ling said.  _ You were willingly working for your Father. Plus you called me your possession, and we’ve already been over how that’s a weird thing to say to people. _

_ But really, enemy?  _ This long into his life, Greed had learned that how other people used the term possession was not the same as how he did, but he still had no better word to describe the connection he felt with certain people and things. Even when Ling told him how he had interpreted it, he hadn’t realized it impacted him this much. 

_ Yeah, _ Ling said, still smiling faintly like he didn’t expect it to be big or revelational.

Greed wasn’t sure why he had wanted to confirm that when hearing that felt a bit like someone stabbing his chest. He knew that Ling hadn’t been the fondest of him from the start, but Greed had always seen Ling as rather neat.

_ Are you surprised? _ Ling asked, smirking a little.  _ Come on, you knew I was plotting to get information from you! You even laughed about it. _

_ Yeah, because it was silly that you were trying so hard to be underhanded about it, _ Greed said, defensiveness rising up.  _ You could have just asked me, and I would have told you. _

_ You would have told me  _ **_anything?_ ** Ling looked fairly skeptical.  _ I know you don’t lie, but you can still be pretty tight-lipped. Or just plain dense. _

_ Most things, then, _ Greed said because it was true that there were a few thoughts he wouldn’t have shared with Ling, either for fear of offending him or simply because he didn’t entirely understand them himself. His point still stood.

_ I don’t think you would have told me how to manipulate you into going to Xing and putting yourself into a position where I could take permanent control, _ Ling said dryly.  _ Which is what I was planning on doing. _

Greed stopped himself from asking about that further. The way Ling said it made him feel like he should have already known, and he didn’t want to admit that he was hurt by it. 

Of course Ling had seen him as only a tool. What else could he have been back then? It was better than being a jailer. Ling had told him the reason he accepted Greed into his body right from the start, and it wasn’t like Greed was used to anyone liking him for his own sake. It wasn’t some big surprise, but it still hurt to have that confirmed. He was pretty sure that this was no longer the case since Ling had recently said that he now saw Greed as more than something to be used. At least he really hoped so.

Ling could be lying about seeing him more positively now, a part of Greed’s mind said. After all, he had been fine on principle with manipulating Greed in the beginning. But Greed pushed that thought away. Hiding intentions was different from outright saying untruths, and he didn’t think he could bear the paranoia of second guessing all of Ling’s words and actions. Besides, they were on far better terms now, and Greed didn’t think anyone could fake that to someone they shared a brain with.

_ You  _ **_were_ ** _ planning on doing? _ Greed asked.

_ I realized long ago that I don’t actually want to manipulate you, _ Ling said.

_ You’re not trying to manipulate me anymore? _

_ No, _ Ling said, and he sounded honest at least.  _ Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I mean I did? The thing is, back then I thought we were on opposite sides and that you would be perfectly willing to squish me out of existence if it helped you reach your goals. _

_ I wouldn’t have, _ Greed said instantly, horrified by the mere idea.

_ Yeah, I know that  _ **_now,_ ** Ling said.  _ I sort of figured it out along the way. Disobeying your Father’s orders to get rid of me certainly helped convince me. But even after that, I didn’t know how far your reluctance to kill me went, and I couldn’t afford to be the weaker one. But now... Well, I don’t know if we’re on the exact same side, but we are working together, and I know you don’t want to hurt your... “possessions.” So I don’t feel like I have to manipulate you. And honestly, I would prefer to be your friend than to constantly look for ways to undermine you. _

_ Yeah, I’d prefer that too,  _ Greed said.

_ Glad we’re in agreement then, _ Ling said, and Greed figured he would have to settle for that.

There wasn’t much left to say, and the whole conversation had left him feeling strangely unbalanced. Greed had gotten the information he wanted, even if it didn’t make him feel any better. He didn’t want to keep talking about this and feeling the outlines of whatever uncomfortable thoughts were lurking in the back of his mind.

Ling had chosen this time so he could do nothing by himself anyway, so Greed decided to leave Ling to it, and withdrew.

* * *

The train was rattling loudly across the tracks and the faint buzz of muffled chatter could be heard from a neighboring compartment. It could hardly be considered silent, especially with Mei and Ling’s conversation, but for Greed there was an aching emptiness that he had no other name for.

From the very first moment of his existence, he had never been truly alone. There were times when Ling was quiet or sleeping, but he had still always been there, a steady and comforting presence in the back of their mind. Now there was nothing, no stray thoughts or emotions from anyone but himself. The stillness that reigned in Ling’s absence seemed so quiet it sucked everything else away, or perhaps so loud that it drowned everything else out. In some ways, he felt almost worse than those long days after he had regained his memories.

This was the standard state of existence for everybody else, Greed knew. He had lived this way himself for two hundred years in some half-remembered memories. Greed didn’t know how any of them could stand it. The universe was far too big and uncaring, and the infinite possibilities the world had once seemed to hold now only emphasized how solitary he was.

“Mei, you were travelling with Al for awhile, right?” Ling said in the seat diagonal from Greed. Despite facing Greed’s general direction for over an hour, he had kept his gaze fixed firmly on either the window or on Mei who sat directly in front of him.

Somehow, hearing Ling’s voice made the emptiness worse. It sounded so wrong and weird without it coming from his own vocal chords or within the space inside their mind. It was too loud, too bright, too hollow. Greed never thought he would, but he missed the feeling of Ling moving the mouth they shared when he spoke, the strange familiarity and comfort of it. Now, Ling felt more distant than even the first days of his possession.

“Only a bit,” Mei said. Her head drifted slightly toward Greed’s direction before quickly returning to its original position. “Ed told you about everything at Briggs right?”

“Up to the point where you got separated, yeah,” Ling said. “What happened afterwards?”

Greed wondered why he was even here for this conversation he didn’t belong in. It probably said something terrible about him that he felt more like an intruder now than he had ever felt about invading Ling’s body and life. Ling had his own friends and family now, with a destiny to get back to. There was no room for Greed among all that, and it was only because he felt so directionless and empty that he was sticking around at all.

“Well, Envy was following us—Doctor Marco, specifically,” Mei said. “So we set a trap for them and caught them.”

It was pathetic of him to cling to Ling now, when they were no longer bound together. At his most arrogant and oblivious, Greed would have gone off on his own, assuming he wanted it. Of course he probably would have been deeply unhappy for reasons he couldn’t explain, but that was hardly all that different from his current situation. He wasn’t sure if knowing the reason everything felt aching and hollow made him better off in any way. Instead of determination to take over the world, he was just filled with cold dread.

“Impressive,” Ling said. “Envy’s true form was pretty big.”

“Not without all the souls it’s not,” Mei said, laughing slightly. “I had them in a jar, and I was all set to take them back to Xing  _ months _ ago.”

_ It’s not too late to back out,  _ Greed thought to himself. Maybe he could leave once they arrived in Youswell, pretend his destination was somewhere else nearby. But it wasn’t like there was a place for him anywhere else in the world either, nowhere that wanted him. He could probably go find Heinkel and Darius again. They didn’t seem to have any solid plans either, but he was still their boss—their friend—and they probably wouldn’t kick him out. Anything would be better than being alone.

“Wait, seriously?” Ling demanded. “Then how come you aren’t Empress already?”

“I, ugh,” Mei muttered, shifting a little. “I didn’t want to leave everyone in Amestris to die, okay? Obviously a stupid decision since you ended up with the stone. But I got one first, alright? If not for my goodwill, you’d have lost.”

The problem with realizing he wanted friends was that it seemed to make everything more complicated. He couldn’t just get a hold of friends like he could any other possession. For the first time, Greed thought he understood why Ling made the distinction between the two. Even if Greed did everything right, a friend would still have to make the choice to like him back. And he hadn’t always done everything right, especially not with Ling.  _ So then why am I following you to another country _ ? he wondered. The silence in his head offered no response.

“Ha, right,” Ling said. “Don’t get this wrong, kid.  _ I _ got hold of a philosopher’s stone months before you did.”

Mei snorted. “More like he got a hold of  _ you _ . What even was your plan?”

From the corner of his eye, Greed could see Mei next to him turn her head slightly to look at him once again. He carefully didn’t look in her direction. Ling didn’t move a bit. It was like Greed didn’t exist to him.

_ Why won’t you look at me?  _ he asked the side of his mind where Ling had once resided.

“Oh, you know,” Ling said confidently. “Improvise. I figured something would work out in the end.”

“And  _ this _ is the person who’ll be the emperor of Xing?” Mei asked, sighing loudly.

“Could have been worse,” Ling said, one side of his mouth curling upwards. “Could have been you.”

They were bantering, Greed thought, as Mei made an outraged noise. He fought the urge to launch himself out the window. Ling had said he hadn’t gotten along with any of his siblings at all before, but he and Mei seemed to be on pretty good terms now. Meanwhile Ling didn’t have a word to spare for Greed. Which made sense, of course, since Ling had spent the past six months talking to very few people besides him. He was probably delighted at that break. That didn’t make Greed feel any less horrible.

He had bantered with his own siblings back in his first life, mostly Lust and Envy. It was a volatile activity sometimes, since one wrong comment could easily break out into a fight, but it had been nice too. Now both were gone, and Greed wasn’t exactly torn up about it, but it still felt weird. They had ceased to be major figures in his life a long time ago, but now he was the only one of his kind remaining, which was a new sort of solitude.

“Well, enjoy having the scrutiny of the whole country on you for the rest of your life,” Mei scoffed.

“Thank you, I will!” Ling said brightly. “Along with my enormous palace, the finest cooks on our half of the world, all the jewels—”

“Shut up, Yao,” Mei muttered.

Ling had everything he wanted, came the thought, louder than anything else. The awareness of how jarring his own presence here was swept through him so strongly that Greed couldn’t swallow, could barely breathe or move. The whole reason Ling had come to Amestris and gotten involved with the homunculi and accepted Greed was to gain the secret of immortality. Now that he had, there was no reason for Greed to remain.

Of course Ling wouldn’t care about him or want to keep him around. When had Greed ever given him a reason to do that? He was well aware he had caused Ling far more harm than good, taking over his life for six whole months and delaying his return to his clan and throne. He was a homunculus, created from the parts so awful that even a person like Father wouldn’t want them. How could he be capable of wanting connection and being loved? How could he even deserve such a thing?

Ling had told him to follow him back in Central, but Greed wasn’t entirely sure why. Maybe he wanted to use Greed as an example to the Emperor of what immortality looked like in a person-shaped being. The stone inside Greed was half of Ling’s stone, after all.

Even the philosopher’s stone that Ling had, the reason he had wanted Greed in the first place, had come from Lan Fan, entirely unrelated to Greed. And Ling still wouldn’t even look at Greed.

Lan Fan stood up suddenly, and everyone looked at her. She turned a little red. “I... I’m just going to the bathroom.”

“Really?” Mei asked.

“What?” Lan Fan snapped. “I’m human too, and just because I can’t take turns to watch over Ling with my grandfather…” Her voice broke off.

“I’ll be safe for the next two minutes,” Ling said softly, like the times when Greed had had a particularly bad flashback.

“If anything happens when I’m gone...” Lan Fan threatened, glaring at all of them sharply enough to curdle Greed’s stomach before leaving.

“I could steal the stone from you right now,” Mei said, arching her eyebrows. Greed tensed automatically, but Ling just laughed.

“I’d like to see you try, beansprout,” Ling said, and Mei lightly kicked his shin in retaliation.

With a jolt, Greed remembered how they used to tease Ed together in a similar way, riling him up just for the fun of it. Working together like that and sharing each other’s laughter had been really nice, a sort of joy and contentment that Greed hadn’t even known he was capable of feeling. It all felt a bit hollow now.

“Wow, so scary,” Ling said, grinning at Mei. She snorted.

They were sharing a camaraderie that Ling had once had with Greed, but now never would again, and suddenly Greed couldn’t take it. He felt worse than invisible, both something to be ignored, but also as obvious and unwanted as a giant splotch of ink on a blank page.

Quietly, he stood up without full conscious intent, feeling practically possessed by his need to  _ get out.  _ He would have preferred being possessed. In such a small space, he was sure it was impossible to leave unobtrusively, and he knew how much it looked like he was fleeing, but even that was better than remaining there any longer.

“Uh, Greed?” he thought he heard Mei say, but he was already closing the door and moving down the hall, away from any chance of overhearing Ling and Mei’s voices. 

He wasn’t sure what to do now that he was out here. Maybe he could just get off the next time the train stopped. That would be the best option for everyone, he was sure. If Ling didn’t even want to acknowledge his presence, he couldn’t really want Greed around as a reminder of what were possibly the worst months of his life.

That was settled then. The decision didn’t fill him with any sort of relief or satisfaction, but Greed could no longer pretend any sort of surprise at that. He leaned against the wall as casually as he could, making himself comfortable while he waited.

“What are you doing out here?” came Lan Fan’s voice from his left, and Greed jumped.

“Uh,” he said.

She narrowed her eyes. “Were you planning on leaving?”

“Um,” Greed said, but he couldn’t stand up to a direct question like that, not with her intense glare, so he nodded.

“No,” she said firmly.

“What?” Greed said, frowning. He hadn’t been asking for permission, and no doubt Lan Fan could make a good attempt at stopping him from leaving if she really wanted to, but he couldn’t see why she would.

“You aren’t leaving,” she said, crossing her arms. “My lord told you to come.”

Greed scoffed. “Well he’s not  _ my _ lord.” He reconsidered his sentence. “He’s not my  _ lord. _ ” Except maybe that wasn’t right either anymore. He didn’t think someone could be his if they didn’t want to be, and despite all their arguments and misunderstandings, Ling had never seemed to reject him as strongly as he did now. But that wasn’t the point of any of this. “Besides, he sure as hell doesn’t act like he wants me around.”

“He wouldn’t say so if he didn’t,” Lan Fan said.

Under her cold glare, Greed shifted. He had admired her strength and intensity from the moment he first saw her; he just wished all of that wasn’t focused on him right at this moment. “Why do you care? You hate me for kidnapping your prince.”

“I don’t trust you,” Lan Fan agreed. “But I trust Ling. He’s spent six months with you in his head, so if he tells you to stay, he knows you well enough to decide you’re worth keeping around.”

Greed didn’t know how to explain that if that was true, Ling clearly didn’t know him well enough, since he obviously didn’t understand that there was something fundamentally awful about him. All he could be was a drain, taking and taking for himself. It was all he had done for Ling in the past.

“And you would have died for him,” Lan Fan said, a little quieter. “You can’t be all bad.”

It had been a selfish act, since dying by himself had seemed far less painful than dragging Ling down with him, or worse, being left without him. But before he could protest, Lan Fan locked eyes with him, and even though she said nothing more, Greed vividly remembered the way she had sliced Gluttony up the previous night. It was a stare that said she could and would do the same to him if he dared disobey Ling. Greed swallowed.

“So why’d he tell me to stay?” he asked, making his voice louder and more forceful to keep it from cracking.

“You’d have to ask him,” she said, and Greed couldn’t think of anything he wanted to do less.

“What use am I?” The question slipped out without his full permission, and he couldn’t look at her face anymore, his eyes drawing like magnets to the floor.

“Figure something out,” she said, finally breaking her stare to brush past him towards their compartment. “You kept him alive during the fighting today, didn’t you? Keep doing that. We have a long journey ahead, and I can’t watch him nonstop.”

Greed nodded quickly, automatically responding to the sharp certainty in her voice. 

_ Do I actually want to stay? _ he wondered the second she reentered the compartment. He had his shield and some regenerative power, limited as they might be with his stone so small. If nothing else, he could throw himself in front of a knife for Ling. That would give him a reason, a purpose to fulfill when his life seemed to otherwise have none. Even if Ling still wasn’t talking to him.

It wasn’t too late to get off the train, especially now that Lan Fan wasn’t watching him. But what did he have out there besides more aching emptiness? In the whole world, there was no one more familiar to him than Ling, and at least this gave him a direction in life. 

He would stay until Youswell, he decided. It would be easy enough to change his mind anywhere within the Amestrian border. Maybe something would come along in the meantime to make him decide one way or the other.

* * *

The entourage of the heir-to-be entered Xing’s capital city with little fanfare. After a month of trekking across a desert, over a mountain range, and through forests and farmlands, all four of them were sweaty and dusty and absolutely ready to be done with their journey.

Back when they first started the journey, Ling had tossed out the vague suggestion of heading towards the Yao Clan’s lands first, but they had decided against it. The Yao Clan was located just north of Youswell, so it was a little out of their way to the capital near the southern coast of Xing, and every day counted. Besides, Ling had said that his clan would insist on sending him with proper accompaniment, and the attention that would draw could be extremely dangerous.

So instead, they entered the city unnoticed, indistinguishable from the hundreds of other travellers that went in and out each day. Ling and Mei had long since exchanged the bright clothing of their clan’s colors for more neutral tones, and with all the mud and stains they had picked up along the way, they looked about as far from royalty as possible.

It was devastatingly hot this far south, made worse by the proximity to the sea. Greed had lived in Dublith for a good portion of his previous life, but he was pretty sure that even during summers there, the air had never felt this heavy with humidity, almost thick enough to swim through. He should have been sluggish and tired, and he had been a mere hour ago, but now that he was in the capital, his excitement filled him with energy.

After a couple weeks of travelling through Xing, Greed had grown quite familiar with its architecture and appearances. For most of their journey, they had passed through small farming villages, full of haphazard houses surrounded by miles of glassy rice fields. There were a few larger towns too, with bustling markets and a couple government buildings that had clearly been meant to impress.

Neither had been anything like the capital.

Large stone walls encircled a gridlock of wide paved streets filled with people in clothes of every shade of the rainbow. Most of the roofs here were ceramic, made of rows of curved tiles sloping slightly upwards at the ends, occasionally painted gold on gates and important buildings and such. The smoky smell of cooking meat drifted from a cluster of vendors, thickening the air, and he could pick out some people speaking in different languages as they waited in line for food.

No individual part was necessarily new to Greed, but it was all on a much bigger scale than anything he had seen before. Everything was bright and full of life, and there seemed to be so much of it at once. Greed wanted to stare at all of it.

“The Yao clan has a manor on the east side of the city,” Ling said in Amestrian, his voice raised slightly above the noise of the crowd. “We’ll send a messenger once we’re safely inside, and then wait for the Emperor to grant us audience. And eat and clean up and all that in the meantime.”

“You ready for this, Yao?” Mei asked. “Final stretch now.”

Ling laughed. “I’d be more nervous if I wasn’t just so tired.”

Both of them seemed unfazed by excitement and grandeur of the city, and even though Lan Fan was subtly scanning the crowds, it was with none of the wide-eyedness that Greed felt. The capital was not a familiar place to any of them, but Ling and Lan Fan at least were used to the cities of the Yao Clan, even if they were smaller. Maybe they were all too preoccupied by the thought of Ling becoming heir to pay much attention to the vibrancy around them. For Greed, that only added to his wonderment.

“It’s not going to get easier from here,” Mei said with a scoff. She made a face. “Best get used to that tiredness.”

“Yeah...” Ling said, suddenly looking much older for a brief moment. Then it passed, and he grinned. “But at least I’ll be exhausted in a soft bed with the finest of foods every meal, instead of sleeping on the ground with whatever we can scavenge.”

“I think I personally would take mosquitos and aching feet over political manipulating and such,” Mei said with a skeptical tilt of her head.

“That’s why I’m going to be Emperor, not you,” Ling informed her.

“Yeah, you’re just weird like that,” Mei said, smiling slightly.

“Nah, I’m with the brat here,” Greed said. He had no experience in politics, but he couldn’t imagine turning up such riches. He hadn't actually slept in all that many comfortable beds this lifetime, and he was looking forward to the chance to have it be a reliable staple of his life.

“Not helping his case,” Mei said. “You’re worse than he is.”

“No offence, Greed, but I don’t think you have the subtlety necessary for court,” Ling said.

Greed just shrugged. He didn’t think so either, since he had little patience for second guessing everyone’s intentions or for lying, but that wasn’t really his point.

“Do  _ you,  _ Ling?” Mei asked, raising both her eyebrows and poorly concealing a smirk. “You were pretty flashy in Amestris, what with all your direct fights with the homunculi and such.”

Curious himself, Greed looked at Ling. “Yeah, you always talked about being trained to manipulate because of Xingese politics, and how you originally planned to get your body back from me like that, but I haven't seen it in action.”

Mei grinned widely. “Oh, was that your plan? So you did have one after all? Could it even have worked?”   
“Shut up,” Ling muttered, rolling his eyes. “And no, of course it wouldn’t have worked, because I didn’t actually want to do that after the first month or so was over. Which is why I didn’t. And it still worked out in the end, didn’t it?”

“Not because of anything  _ you  _ did,” Lan Fan said quietly, and Greed burst into laughter.

“Rude,” Ling said, pouting. Still grinning, Greed reached out to ruffle the top of Ling’s head, but Ling ducked out of the way.

“Still not seeing any proof you can do it,” Greed said.

“I totally could have gotten you to hand over my body back then if I wanted to,” Ling muttered.

Too curious to think much about it, Greed asked, “How?”

Ling hesitated. “This is going to sound kind of bad.”

“What is?”

“Um.” Ling shifted slightly. “So you know how I told you that one time that I was originally planning on collecting information on your weaknesses to use against you? Well, I stopped actively trying once you got your memories back, but… it’s not really something you can just shut off, especially when you’ve spent most of your life analyzing other people in that way. Plus you aren’t. Very subtle. Exactly. So if I wanted, I definitely could have pushed some emotional buttons and gotten what I wanted.”

“Like how?” Greed asked, curious about what weaknesses Ling saw in him, even if he also felt weirdly jittery at the thought.

“I don’t want to tell you that!” Ling said. “There’s a reason I didn’t use them!”

“I want to know,” Greed insisted.

“Well.” Ling sighed. “You know. I knew that you want people to like you, genuinely, not just as a tool. And that you’re insecure about how people see you and that you don’t have the highest self-esteem, even if you pretend to. So I did vaguely consider a few ways I could use that to get you to give me more control or whatever.”

“Oh,” Greed said, not entirely sure what to think as his heart stuttered. Even with Ling sticking to vague descriptions, it was terrifying to have his vulnerabilities laid out like that in front of him, to be known as deeply as he was. Greed had never considered himself as having many secrets worth keeping, but this sense of exposure was something entirely different, especially since Greed hadn’t known all this stuff himself at the time.

This was Ling holding Greed’s heart in his hand, fully aware of his own ability to crush it, yet choosing not to. Greed thought he was a bit glad Ling hadn’t told him this before. At least now he had the comfort of knowing he was Ling's to fall back on.

“Sorry,” Ling said. Greed wasn’t sure if he was supposed to say there was no need to apologize, and if that would even be true. He wasn’t angry or hurt, but it still felt weird.

“Would that have worked?” Mei asked Greed who managed to keep himself from visibly startling at her voice. Even after a month, he still sometimes forgot that other people could hear the conversations he had with Ling.

“...Probably,” he admitted. And now Lan Fan and Mei had something over him too, even if they didn’t know him the same deep way that Ling did. Oddly enough, he didn’t actually feel endangered by them knowing things about him, not like he would have if it was Father or any of the other homunculi. He felt more embarrassed than afraid.

"A bigger softie than you care to admit," Mei said, grinning at him.

"Nothing new there," Lan Fan said dryly. "It's the reason I let him stick around."

Greed rolled his eyes and scoffed but didn't protest. It was worth being known like this if it also came with knowing that he was cared about, he decided.

“Oh hey, I remember this street, the palace is coming up just ahead,” Ling said.

“Your palace?” Greed asked before he remembered that Ling had called the Yao place a manor instead.

“It will be,” Ling said, grinning widely. “Soon. Just like this whole country”

Mei pointedly rolled her eyes. “It’s a wonder I trust you with anything when you go off on your whole speech about taking over the country like you’re some sort of villain.”

“He got it from me,” Greed said with an instinctive smirk, but he wasn’t paying much attention to his words, too caught up by the reminder of their situation. 

He looked around at the city that surrounded them. All this would be Ling’s, he thought: the weary farmer guiding a donkey to pull a cart of cabbages, the dingy establishment Greed knew in his heart was a bar with a swinging wooden sign near the entrance, the large trees providing small patches of shade in the middle of the wide streets, the small clump of people clustered along the edges to make room for a rich-looking lady with her jewels and attendants, the little boy chasing after a striped cat.

This was one tiny portion of the land that Ling loved, the land that had shaped and formed him, which he would one day soon be in charge of protecting and making prosper.

It wasn’t Greed’s kingdom, not in the way that it was Ling’s, and it never could be even if he claimed control over it and dictated everything that happened in it. He didn’t love it and belong to it in the way that Ling did. But even though it should have gone against his greedy nature, he still felt a strange sense of pride knowing Ling would get what he had worked so hard to achieve, and that this country was about to be ruled by someone who cared so much for it that he would open his mind to a demon and dozens of long-dead souls and let them steal his life for six months.

As they walked around a taller building, Ling bumped his shoulder and pointed ahead. “Look, you can see part of the roof of one of the palace buildings from here.”

Between the various buildings and trees, Greed could see the edges of a red painted wall, a taller building with a golden roof peaking just above it. It was barely more than a glimpse, but he still felt himself grin.

Mei was no longer walking beside them, having moved a little behind to walk in step with Lan Fan. Greed couldn’t see them, but judging by the words he could catch from their chatter in Xingese, they were too busy talking about the Yao manor to be paying any attention to the palace ahead.

“My manor is just on the other side of all that,” Ling said. “We can get a better view of the palace when we pass by the gate.” He turned his head to look at Greed. “Quit smirking like that, this won’t be  _ yours. _ ”

Greed faltered for the barest heartbeat, before widening his lips again, though his heart did not feel nearly as into it as before. Of course he knew that. In any case, it was probably the best for both of them that he was not actually the ruler of anywhere, so he wasn’t very disappointed either.

“Yeah, but I’ll still get all the benefits, won’t I?” he demanded.  _ Won’t I? _ he thought to empty space. Ling had said they belonged to each other. Surely Greed would have a place there beside Ling. They hadn’t actually talked much about what would happen once they returned to Xing, but Ling was not one to abandon his friends. Greed was confident in that much at least.

“As if I would ditch you now,” Ling scoffed, like he could still hear the thoughts Greed projected in his mind. “Yeah, you’ll get more fine treatment than you could dream of.”

They turned down a row leading towards the walled section of the city. This was a wider street with large carts rushing down the middle, but the edges were lined with trees offering some shade against the searing heat. Greed could see the palace more clearly now, still blocked by the distant wall.

Greed had no intentions of leaving now, not like he had during that horrible train ride to Youswell. He knew he had a place here with Ling, somewhere he was wanted. It would take a lot more than a passing insecurity to get him to turn his back on all this, not when he could have riches and friends and everything he truly wanted from life and more. Still. He had to ask. 

“Not regretting bringing me along, now that we’re here?” He knew how much he would stand out in a Xingese court, too foreign and untrained in matters of diplomacy and politics. Ling was capable of prying open people’s vulnerabilities, but Greed had only been able to control people through sheer force or by their own agreement, and mostly only through the latter. He could hardly hide in the shadows like Lan Fan either, with his strange qi. Mei had taught him to muffle it a bit, but anyone up close would be able to tell something was off about him. As much as Ling might like him, Greed didn’t fit into his life here like he had during their travels. “You’ll have everything else you wanted.”

“Absolutely not,” Ling said, glaring at Greed in a way that had to have been learned from Lan Fan because it nearly had Greed quaking. “Don’t you dare think about leaving.”

Greed snorted. “And leave all this behind?” He waved his hand in the general direction of Ling and the palace. “Just making sure  _ you _ weren’t changing your mind.”

“Good,” Ling said quietly. “I won’t ever change my mind, not for anything in the world. Because...” He dropped his voice further, and Greed could barely hear him over the noises of everything else around them. “Deep down there’s a selfish part of me that cares more about my friends than anything.”

Greed wasn’t sure why this felt like the most convincing argument he had heard Ling make. He understood selfishness in a way that he didn’t understand love. Those things were closer to each other than he had first thought, Greed was coming to realize. But emotions still made more sense within his old framework of thought than his new one.

“Good thing you get to have both then,” Greed said, which felt inadequate, but he wasn’t sure what he could have said that would be better.

Unfazed by the somewhat lacking response, Ling grinned brightly at him.

By now the palace wall was looming over them, and Greed could no longer see anything peaking out above them, just an enormous courtyard through the open gate. This was to be their new home, once the Emperor had died. A new home and a new life, unlike anything Greed had ever had before.

Once, Greed had wanted this, some big fancy building to symbolize everything he had, with so much power and so many possessions that there was no room for the hollowness he felt clawing at his chest sometimes. He had wanted the world, and Xing was hardly that, but in front of such a mighty construction, it seemed as if there could hardly be any difference between the two scales of unthinkably large. This here in front of him was more than he could properly imagine having.

But now, he knew there were far more effective ways of filling that void. Not easier than conquering a country, perhaps, but he had been lucky enough to find people who would care for him as much as he cared for them, despite everything he hadn’t done right. They were his world now, far better than the one he had once tried to snatch.

By his side, Ling’s steps shrank until he faltered to a halt, and Greed slowed down with him. He was looking up at the palace now too, gaping like another tourist for the first time that Greed had seen. It wasn’t awe or amazement in his eyes though.

"You good there?" Greed asked, turning to look at him.

Ling was silent for a moment, then he swallowed. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this,” he confessed, the words racing out of him like he didn’t want them to exist.

Greed had no idea what to do with this, since Ling had always been so sure of his goals and confident in his desires before. He remembered the times he had felt overwhelmed before, how Ling had treated him then. Ling had said stuff like “I’m here” and sent comforting emotions his way, carving out a piece of stability in their mind amid the chaos of his thoughts. There was no way to do that last part anymore, so instead he just placed his hand on Ling’s shoulder.

“Well, I’ll be here, so you got it in the bag,” he said confidently. Then he felt a bit silly about it when he would be too out of his depths to be of much help. “Plus you have Mei and Lan Fan. The country isn’t ready for  _ you _ .”

Ling leaned into his hand for a moment, his eyes closed off against any emotion they might reveal. Then Ling took a deep breath and straightened his back, opening his eyes again with a quiet determination. With his other arm, he took Greed’s hand off his shoulder, gently squeezing it for a moment before dropping it.

“Yeah,” Ling said, not quite his over-the-top confident self, but certain nonetheless. He turned away from the palace, down a side road in between the trees along the side. “Come on. We have a throne to claim. Together.”

Picking up speed alongside him, Greed felt a strange twisting of his insides that was not entirely unpleasant. Whatever was ahead of them was something none of them were quite prepared for, a world none of them truly belonged in. But they were in this together, and Greed had seen how unstoppable each of the Xingese teens were alone. As a group, he was sure that nothing could ever stand in their way for long.

He felt a strange soft joy blooming in his chest.  _ Love _ , he thought. That was the word for the warmth and gentle affection that filled him. He was content despite the vague worry and determination floating around at the thought of the future. Everything he wanted most was his.


End file.
